I’m sitting here writing this to you as I’m drinking my new coffee roast (COAVA!) that I got from Portland Oregon this past weekend.
One of my close friends from my DTS got married in Portland. Congrats Renae and Seth!!!! I’m beyond happy that I was able to be there and celebrate her. I'm happy ESPECIALLY because I’m about to leave for SBS in ONE WEEK.
ONE WEEK.
Is that crazy or what......
If you asked me how I was doing a month ago, I would’ve told you that I wasn’t ready to leave or if I even wanted to leave. I would’ve told you that all of my emotions were numbed out, and being a more emotionally aware person nowadays, it was freaking me out.
I wasn’t understanding why I was feeling so stuck in going into this next season. I really had to pray and ask God what was going on, for Holy Spirit to reveal to me why I was feeling that way.
And sure enough he showed me that I was being downcast. He specifically showed me that I was like the woman bent over in Luke 13. Jesus set her free from being bent over for 18 years. God showed me that I was like that women, bent over, only to look at my feet and where I’m at. I was feeling stuck. From the beginning of accepting the fact that I’m doing this nine month school, it’s been hard. Here's a note from that day where God showed me that to help you understand a little better of where i’ve been.
I thought, how can I leave such a good season to enter a new season God is calling me to? But the whole time i’ve believed God’s best is much better than my best.
I see the season I'm in with the life I live here in Tennessee, and I don’t want to leave it. The past couple months I’ve been trying to find peace in my heart to be okay with leaving. To be okay with leaving the friends that I have dearly loved in this season. To be okay with leaving my church community that I’ve grown to dearly love in this season. And to leave my home and family that I’ve cherished deeply in this season. Sometimes it makes no sense to say yes to something when what you have is so good. But God whispers, trust me, I have a better best for you (even when you can't see it)!!!
Cool thing is, now that I saw my super close people that I never get to see in Oregon this past weekend, I feel I've taken my last step into being okay to walk into this next season.
If truly you know me, you know I care deeply about people in my life. Disconnection and separation from the ones I love is like torture. So knowing I have to disconnect from them for this next season is really hard. But I’ve seen God graciously take me step-by-step through these hard months to where I am now. I am now more at peace with the people I love and the life I love to kiss it bye and move into the next season. Life is truly seasons, not just with nature and time, but within ourselves, spiritually. If all we did was stay in one season, then we'd never see growth. We'd never see beautiful things happen. We'd have a much harder time growing near to God, the God of seasons, the creator of beautiful things. His yes is the best even when you can't see it. He will surely bring you to where you're at peace with the decision, even if it takes a long time. Lean into him. Trust him. Find the sweet joy in surrender.
I can truly say that today I'm much more expectant and excited for Montana.
I can say that with an honest heart to myself to and to the Lord.
It’s taken many struggles to get here, but i’ve made it, and only a week before. I feel much more ready. My back is much more straight and my vision is much more lifted to heaven, to the future.
I’m ready to take Jesus’s hand and have him walk me into this set apart time with him.
PRAYERS + FUNDRAISING
CRAZY THING IS, ya'll funded my mountain! Fully climbed to the top. I'm now $2,000 closer to my goal. I only have about $2,500 left of $11,000 to fund. I can't believe i've had that much funded in a short amount of time, ya'll. I've been constantly in tears, blown away by God's love through ya'll. Thank you so much!
If you want to donate, my Venmo is @savannahdeann
ALSO I'm selling unique mugs I had created for SBS! They are $15 (additional donation is welcomed too)! If you'd like to purchase one, let me know. I can meet you this week. If I sell all the mugs, it will help with funding in a tremendous amount!
MUCH LOVE!!!!!
Please pray for my prep for leaving in this week..... gonna be a crazy, beautiful time!
Jesus is worthy of it all,
LOVE, SAV
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