About 4 weeks from today, I leave for SBS.
God has been teaching me some things here and there. It's been a unique season with the Lord. I see him preparing my heart in little ways for SBS. But then most days, I can feel pretty lost with the whole thing as well. ALL the emotions, you guys!
A prayer of mine has been, "God, it’s not too late to pull the rug if you don’t want me to do this."
Since the beginning my mind has been loose with this decision. I know that there are good things and there are God things. And then sometimes God gives us a choice to choose between two good things, and then through that, he shows us which is his thing for us.
I know there’s nothing I can do to stop God‘s plan. So if I start to go on a road that isn’t right, God can graciously create another road for me to walk on to get back to where I need to be.
It's the adventure of the faith journey.
Then there we reach a place of dependence on God, and in seeking him, he reminds us that we're not supposed to have it figured out. But thare supposed to take this day by day, and draw near to him. That we would trust his sovereignty.
In this life journey with God, I’ve learned that his will for us usually won’t be huge blinking lights and billboard signs, but it's the little things that we walk through each day that lead us to our decisions to obey him.
That's what it’s been like for Montana, it’s never been this huge yes billboard sign from God, but little things I would notice because I’m walking close with him.
But even still there’s doubt.
I believe doubts are a pathway to seeking him, and depending on him more.
It's to be honest with ourselves, let our guard down, and say hey, I don’t know everything about God's plan for my life, and I don’t have it all figured out. And that's okay.
Then there we reach a place of dependence on God, and in seeking him, he reminds us that we're not supposed to have it figured out. But that we're supposed to take this day by day, and draw near to him. That we would trust his sovereignty, knowing that there's nothing we can do to mess up his plans up.
God will be sovereign no matter what, so whatever he desires he will do.
The crazy cool part about it is that he chooses us to play a part in his story. That’s his grace!
I’ve learned that I would rather say yes to God with the smallest sign from him that I’m supposed to walk on a certain path in his will then be afraid that the small sign isn’t enough for me to say yes.
I believe God delights and his children saying yes when he’s only giving us a little bit. Because it shows that we trust him.
I would rather say yes in obedience, trusting him, going all the way through, just to get to the end for him to lead me in another direction. It’s worth it. Having that faith, it's worth it.
Back when I was preparing for my DTS on 2017, I got accepted a whole year in advance. I had a whole year to get my finances of $10,000. I had a whole year to prepare, to be okay with leaving for six months to do this new thing God called me to do, to be fully reliant on him.
I know the character of God much more now as I've grown to trust in him over the years of missis. I've become much more confident in him. aAHe has completely changed my whole life..
Am I super nervous about going? No not really. There are moments where I begin to feel a little stressed about getting things done and preparing.
But It's different this time. And I think it’s because when you’ve been walking with God and have taken bigger and bigger steps of obedience, he grows and strengthens your faith muscles. You remember how he provided for you in the past, how he never left you, and what he did for you and through you, so you reminisce on his faithfulness.
I know the character of God much more now as I've grown to trust in him over the years of missions. I've become much more confident in him. And in turn, he has completely transformed me as a person.
With SBS, it’s something that’s been on my mind for years now. It’s always been there, and I’ve always wondered if I would do it and when and where.
I always had a dream to do the school in Norway, at the base we stayed at during DTS. I LOVE the YWAM Grimerud base.
But times are different now. I would still love to go back and visit that base. It’s definitely a remarkable place to me.
So God has been speaking to me about SBS for a while now, so it just feels kinda natural to go along with it. It feels like I’m just living my life doing what I’m supposed to be doing.
It doesn't mean I'm not over here freaking out a bit though. I've realized over the past few days, I've done a good job with allowing walls to be up through this process. Unknowingly, i've allowed emotional walls to go up in my heart, and i've been hiding behind them. I'm still understanding what God is teaching me.
People will ask, "when do you leave?", and i'll say, "ahhh, sometime in the next little bit." It's like I don't even wanna face the fact that I'm leaving so soon. I think it's more the fact that I've realized all the gifts God has given me during this season of my life, and I'm sad to leave it.
I love my community so much. I feel like I've finally found a community at home that I've always longed for. The love I have with my family has felt stronger than most times in my life recently. We have learned to really just have fun with each other! I love serving with photography at my church right now, and that's also something I had longed for for a while. My photography business feels much more "me"and is thriving more nowadays than ever.
So I'm extremely thankful because I see how God has provided me so much in this season. I've grown to love my life here in TN. It's been an unbelievable time. Many desires and prayers that have been met. It makes me sad to leave, but this is where I trust God over all.
I trust his next best for me more so than the best I have right now.
I trust him for this next season.
PRAYERS + FUNDRAISING
I'd love to continue having you pray for me! I'm now trying to figure out all the things I'm bringing, gathering things I need, and spending quality time with people I love. Pray mainly for God to continue to reveal in me the things I need to lay down and trust him with. Pray I also will be more expectant for this season coming up. Pray for the soil of my heart and mind to be ready tp receive all the work God will do!
I am still raising support! I have a SUPER COOL idea that the Holy Spirit laid on my mind yesterday. I am climbing a fundraising mountain!!!
The funny part is that fundraising does feel like climbing a mountain in a sense, haha. AND In Montana, I will be surrounded by mountains!!!
If I fundraise the entire mountain, I raise $2,000! It would help immensely.
I am about $4,600 to being fully funded! So funding the entire mountain would be extremely helpful.
Please adopt a number on the mountain, and send me the money via Venmo (or just message me about other ways to pay!) My Venmo is @savannahdeann.
We can do climb this mountain together, in faith that God will provide!
Thank you for reading this, and understanding where I'm at. Your love and support means the world to me! What a good, loving Father we serve!
Jesus is worthy of it all!
LOVE, Sav
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